...When You Feel Like a Loser

Start by taking this single-question quiz:

Do you think I feel like a loser because...
A.) I can't keep up with the dishes?
B.) The constant toys on the floor prevent vacuuming?
C.) I gained 8 pounds in one month? 
D.) Other

Correct answer: D
Although, A, B, and C are all true*, option D, "Other" is the best choice for the following reason: My daughter is always the winner. 

Depending on how well you know me, some of you may describe me as "competitive."  Others may choose to disagree with or qualify this descriptor.  Personally, I wish I could quantify it by listing my LTWP (life-time winning percentage, in case you didn't pick up on the acronym).  However, I would grant myself the permission to omit records of all games played on my 30th birthday, since there has to be some advantage to climbing that hill.

For the past two months or so, I have been mulling over another single-question quiz: Is my daughter inherently ultra-competitive, or has she adopted modeled behavior from someone?  Nature vs. nurture.  I'm leaning toward nature on this one.

Example 1
[During mealtime.]
Miriam: Mommy!  Who's winning?
Me: We don't race when we eat, Miriam.  You need to chew.
Shovel, gulp.  Shovel, gulp.
Miriam: I win!  I am the winner!  Noah is the LOSER!
[Victorious arm waving and shouting.]

Example 2
[While in the car, regardless of destination.]
Miriam: Mommy!  Who's winning?  Which car is winning?
Me: I don't know, Miri.  There are lots of cars going very fast.
Miriam: No, I am the fastest!  I am winning! (As she "drives" with her personal paper plate steering wheel from her car seat.)
[Upon reaching destination.]
Miriam: I win!  I am the winner!

Example 3
[While playing Hungry, Hungry Hippos.]
Miriam: Mommy!  Who's winning?
Me: Anyone can win.  Sometimes different people win.
Miriam: Look, I win!  You are the LOSER!
[Points at me and makes a pouting face, as if she is either mocking me or expressing the emotion I ought to feel.]

February 2014
Miriam cheating while competing with Noah in Hungry, Hungry Hippos
(I was the "loser" yellow hippo, before my self-worth couldn't bear to play any longer)

I could go on and on, but I think you get the point.  No matter what we do, my daughter (not I) turns it into a competition.  If I insist that I won something, she proceeds to explain to me that although I did win, she also won, and, "Mommy, when two people win, that is called a tie."  In fact, I'm getting so tired of hearing her proclaim herself the "winner" all day long, that I taught her the word "champion."  So, the bottom line is, that for twelve hours a day, my two-year-old daughter makes me feel like a loser.  Oh, my sweet revenge will come when Noah is able to beat her and call her the loser.

Though I'm embarrassed by her behavior, I am awfully proud of her competitive nature.  Goodness knows I've never modeled such arrogant mannerisms... I just wish she wouldn't legitimately beat me at Hungry, Hungry Hippos time after time.





* I have provided some photo evidence below.

If you chose option "A," you are right on target.  This is what I am ignoring in the sink right now in order to write this blog.  And the picture doesn't even include what's on the counter.

 

If you chose option "B," you have the right idea.  This is just one small corner of one carpet in one room of the house.  So, if you want the complete image, multiply by at least ten.

 

Lastly, if you chose option "C," just ask my OB.  Or my husband.  It's true: I gained eight pounds in one month, but will kindly spare you the picture.